Cochineal (n) An interesting example of onomatopoeia in that this is the word for sneeze in the Aztec dialect
I had a day off today, just on a whim, and went first thing to pick up the new DVD/HDD beast, which I left for the Ugly One to deal with and nipped off to the Celebrity Sauna.
No celebrities today, which was a relief, since they inevitably stalk me.
The Ugly One duly set up the new beast which is working perfectly, although in a perverse act of defiance the old one has now decided to work properly.
Friday, 5 March 2010
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Parasite (n) A designated area reserved for soldiers who wish to go camping.
Our DVD/HDD recorder has become progressively sicker over the last couple of days and now just flashes messages of distress at us.
Consequently, we have ordered a new one from The Great God Argos which I will be picking up tomorrow.
Our DVD/HDD recorder has become progressively sicker over the last couple of days and now just flashes messages of distress at us.
Consequently, we have ordered a new one from The Great God Argos which I will be picking up tomorrow.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Balaclava (n) A Welsh harpsichord
I have to say that although I normally avoid reality shows, I am unaccountably hooked by ‘Pineapple Studios’ which takes the cameras inside the famous dance studio to show us the lives of the shy and retiring folk who work there.
One could be forgiven for thinking one was watching a mockumentary along the lines of ‘That Peter Kay Thing’ or ‘This is Spinal Tap’ since some of the protagonists seem completely unaware of the yawning void between the image they have of themselves and hard reality.
On the good side we have Louie Spence, the ubercamp Creative Director who, I am sure, will never return to TV obscurity. Like Julian and Sandy reborn in one muscle-bound volume, Louie is a lisping high-energy witmeister who can turn his hand to anything from having to ‘clean up poo. Someone missed the ¬toilet twice the other day and did it on the doorstep. I Am Not Lying’ to backflipping around the dancefloor to show a crowd of wannabee teenagers how it’s done. I love him.
On the dark side, someone really needs to have a word with Andrew Stone, the self-proclaimed ‘ready made pop star.’ He may have been ready made at some point, but things have gone off a bit since.
Andrew (‘Some people are IN showbusiness, some people ARE showbusiness. I AM showbusiness!’) is the lead singer of the (unsigned) band ‘Starman’, whose members and manager seem to think it is still the Nineteen Eighties. Like most people who want to BE showbusiness, Andrew and his band have worked very hard on their image and have done a professional photoshoot (during which Andrew got very concerned and lip-trembly about being upstaged by a lady in a loud frock, and Jesus the guitarist threw a hissy fit when someone got chocolate on his nice shirt), but so far don’t seem to have actually produced any music. Having said that, if you ARE showbusiness, that’s not really necessary, I suppose.
I have to say that although I normally avoid reality shows, I am unaccountably hooked by ‘Pineapple Studios’ which takes the cameras inside the famous dance studio to show us the lives of the shy and retiring folk who work there.
One could be forgiven for thinking one was watching a mockumentary along the lines of ‘That Peter Kay Thing’ or ‘This is Spinal Tap’ since some of the protagonists seem completely unaware of the yawning void between the image they have of themselves and hard reality.
On the good side we have Louie Spence, the ubercamp Creative Director who, I am sure, will never return to TV obscurity. Like Julian and Sandy reborn in one muscle-bound volume, Louie is a lisping high-energy witmeister who can turn his hand to anything from having to ‘clean up poo. Someone missed the ¬toilet twice the other day and did it on the doorstep. I Am Not Lying’ to backflipping around the dancefloor to show a crowd of wannabee teenagers how it’s done. I love him.
On the dark side, someone really needs to have a word with Andrew Stone, the self-proclaimed ‘ready made pop star.’ He may have been ready made at some point, but things have gone off a bit since.
Andrew (‘Some people are IN showbusiness, some people ARE showbusiness. I AM showbusiness!’) is the lead singer of the (unsigned) band ‘Starman’, whose members and manager seem to think it is still the Nineteen Eighties. Like most people who want to BE showbusiness, Andrew and his band have worked very hard on their image and have done a professional photoshoot (during which Andrew got very concerned and lip-trembly about being upstaged by a lady in a loud frock, and Jesus the guitarist threw a hissy fit when someone got chocolate on his nice shirt), but so far don’t seem to have actually produced any music. Having said that, if you ARE showbusiness, that’s not really necessary, I suppose.
Monday 22 February 2010
Depot (v) To pour the tea.
Now our DVD/TV recorder has decided to throw a strop and refuses to record ‘Days of Our Lives’ which is a bit of a worry for me since characters are currently being murdered weekly. Doctor Marlena has had a mouthful of poisoned dip at the funeral of the last victim, and now lies close to death while her family and friends fall to their knees around the bed, clenching their fists and shouting ‘Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!’
John Black’s detachable and sentient eyebrows are so incensed by this turn of events that they have left his face altogether and gone off to find the murderer on their own.
I will have to purchase a new machine just so I can keep up.
Now our DVD/TV recorder has decided to throw a strop and refuses to record ‘Days of Our Lives’ which is a bit of a worry for me since characters are currently being murdered weekly. Doctor Marlena has had a mouthful of poisoned dip at the funeral of the last victim, and now lies close to death while her family and friends fall to their knees around the bed, clenching their fists and shouting ‘Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!’
John Black’s detachable and sentient eyebrows are so incensed by this turn of events that they have left his face altogether and gone off to find the murderer on their own.
I will have to purchase a new machine just so I can keep up.
Sunday 21 February 2010
Gully (n) The V-shaped depression in the neck which in men nestles the Adam’s Apple.
The odious Katie Price has a new series and in the trailer she hopes, somewhat optimistically, that nothing terrible happens to her this year. I hope that too. Well, nothing trivial anyway. Her vocal cords may get eaten by a ferret, which would make interesting tv, and improve the programme no end in the process. She may have a fatal attack of good taste and give her child a proper name, rather than Tiramisu. Who knows?
We had fortune cookies at dinner yesterday and mine said that I was destined to enjoy fine things and would never have a serious accident.
Hoorah!
The odious Katie Price has a new series and in the trailer she hopes, somewhat optimistically, that nothing terrible happens to her this year. I hope that too. Well, nothing trivial anyway. Her vocal cords may get eaten by a ferret, which would make interesting tv, and improve the programme no end in the process. She may have a fatal attack of good taste and give her child a proper name, rather than Tiramisu. Who knows?
We had fortune cookies at dinner yesterday and mine said that I was destined to enjoy fine things and would never have a serious accident.
Hoorah!
Saturday 20 February 2010
Dermatology (n) The study of Irish TV presenters.
her face is the rain
it dampens the atmosphere
pulls down all our skies
Robert and his dog Henry came round for dinner this evening and the Ugly One cooked Sweet and Sour Pork, which came out perfick.
When I plugged my mp3 player into the pc to play some ambient sounds, the computer went a bit weird and switched all its speakers off.
The Ugly One had to fiddle with the setting for ages to get everything back to normal.
I hate technology.
her face is the rain
it dampens the atmosphere
pulls down all our skies
Robert and his dog Henry came round for dinner this evening and the Ugly One cooked Sweet and Sour Pork, which came out perfick.
When I plugged my mp3 player into the pc to play some ambient sounds, the computer went a bit weird and switched all its speakers off.
The Ugly One had to fiddle with the setting for ages to get everything back to normal.
I hate technology.
Wednesday 17 February 2010
Vista (n) A popular brand of Nineeten Seventies New Zealand Packet curries.
the black dog is back
following me through the rain
sleeping on my chest
‘Holby City’ has been on twice a week, which is very confusing. We also watched ‘Wallander’, the Kenneth Branagh version, not the Swedish version. It’s very bleak. I’m surprised the man gets out of bed in the mornings. He’s suffering from depression because he killed someone, his artist father is in a nursing home, and this week men were being tortured and killed all over the Swedish countryside while his father escaped and went home to his studio to die.
the black dog is back
following me through the rain
sleeping on my chest
‘Holby City’ has been on twice a week, which is very confusing. We also watched ‘Wallander’, the Kenneth Branagh version, not the Swedish version. It’s very bleak. I’m surprised the man gets out of bed in the mornings. He’s suffering from depression because he killed someone, his artist father is in a nursing home, and this week men were being tortured and killed all over the Swedish countryside while his father escaped and went home to his studio to die.
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