Mildew (n) Word derived from the name of Shakespeare’s hero from the play ‘How’s About It?’
I had to stay home today to wait for the boilerman. He comes every year to check that our boiler is up to spec, and generally tells us that, like myself, it’s a bit old, but working OK.
While he was tinkering with the plumbing I was online and had got a message from a man in Saudi Arabia who had tracked me down on the internet.
‘You look like Michael Chiklis!’ he said, ‘I’ve been searching for someone who looks like Michael Chiklis.’
‘Michael Chiklis? The man from The Shield? That’s a coincidence,’ I said, looking at his online photo, ‘because I’ve been searching for someone who looks like Carlos from Desperate Housewives.’
‘I haven’t seen The Shield,’ said Carlos, ‘but I fell in love with Michael Chiklis in The Fantastic Four.’
‘So…’ I said, ‘You think I look like Michael Chiklis in The Fantastic Four as The Thing!’
I was interrupted by the boilerman who needed to check my gas cooker, which I had fortunately cleaned the day before.
Carlos from Desperate Housewives must have thought I was highly offended and had diplomatically logged off, although he did send me an apologetic message later.