Thursday 29 January 2009

I was sorry to hear of the death of John Martyn, whose contribution to British music is inestimable. For those of you who have no knowledge of his genius, I suggest you try out his albums ‘Solid Air’ and ‘Grace and Danger’.

Thursday 15 January 2009

in tailored prison
tied, shirted, trousered, booted
to the interview


"There's two things I can't stand - intolerance and Catholics" – Spike Milligan

The atheist posters have gone up on buses around London, proclaiming the message ‘God probably doesn’t exist. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life’ which, one imagines, should offend no one since religious Groups have no problem with filling Underground Trains and stations with their religious propaganda. However, I wasn’t surprised to discover that it didn’t take long for god-botherers to find a rickety bandwagon and jump on it.

“An atheist campaign claiming "There's probably no God" has been reported to the advertising regulator.

Posters with the slogan appear on 800 buses in England, Scotland and Wales, as well as on the London Underground.
But organisation Christian Voice has complained to the Advertising Standards Authority saying they break rules on substantiation and truthfulness.
The British Humanist Association, which backed the campaign, said it was not taking the complaint seriously.
The ASA's code states "marketers must hold documentary evidence to prove all claims". The regulator said it would assess the complaint and decide whether to contact the advertiser.
The adverts contain the slogan: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."
But Stephen Green, national director of Christian Voice, said: "There is plenty of evidence for God, from people's personal experience, to the complexity, interdependence, beauty and design of the natural world.
"But there is scant evidence on the other side, so I think the advertisers are really going to struggle to show their claim is not an exaggeration or inaccurate, as the ASA code puts it."
The campaign was dreamed up by comedy writer Ariane Sherine and was supported by scientist and vocal atheist Richard Dawkins.
Hanne Stinson, chief executive of the British Humanist Association, said: "I've sought advice from some of our key people here, but I'm afraid all I've got out of them so far is peals of laughter.
"I am sure that Stephen Green really does think there is a great deal of evidence for a God (though presumably only the one that he believes in), but I pity the ASA if they are going to be expected to rule on the probability of God's existence."

[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7818980.stm]

Meanwhile, the campaign is moving to Genoa where the very grand-sounding Italian Union of Rational Atheists and Agnostics (UAAR) are planning their own campaign next month.


“Father Gianfranco Celabrese, a spokesman for Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, the Archbishop of Genoa and head of the Italian Bishops Conference, attacked the atheist campaign, saying it amounted to "intolerance". Vatican officials were said to be alarmed at reports that the atheist campaign would target Rome next.
Father Calabrese said: "There are some methods which promote dialogue and others which feed intolerance. Head-on opposition always demonstrates intolerance." The Genoa bus campaign will use the slogan: "The bad news is that God does not exist. The good news is that we do not need him", rather than the claim by campaigners in Britain and Spain that God "probably" does not exist. “

[http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5510761.ece]


This serves to hearten me to the fact that rational people are willing to stand up and be counted around the world. It is, of course, rather ironic for a Catholic Archbishop to talk of intolerance, particularly in view of the Pope’s unfortunate remarks just before Christmas.
My boss, here in the secret underground government bunker, is against the campaign, and when I asked her why, she replied ‘It’s wrong to attack the church like this. You’re unravelling two thousand years of rhetoric.’

I had an interview today, perversely for my own job. This is the second time this has happened although I am gratified to know that there will be a substantial uplift in the old moolahs.
And Ricardo Montalban is dead, famous for both being Khan in ‘Star Trek – The Wrath of Khan’ and for being in The Colbys.

Tuesday 18 November 2008

Reg Varney, who was famous for his role as Butler in ‘On The Buses’ has died at the age of 92. Although ‘On The Buses’ has long vanished from our screens (with the exception of rare appearances on satellite channels) the series is probably best remembered for the catch-phrase uttered by Inspector Blakey (Stephen Lewis); ‘I ‘ate you, Butler!’.
Although a very basic format in which Reg (then in his mid-fifties) played a thirty-ish bus-driver who never seemed to succeed with the ladies, the series was extraordinarily popular.
Varney’s career was far more than ‘OTB’ however, as his performances ranged over sitcoms, films and stage performance.
Sadly, I had imagined Varney to be long dead, when he had been retired and painting landscapes on the coast. Lately he had been living in a home in Budleigh Salterton.
Varney also secured his place in history by making the world's first withdrawal from an electronic automated teller machine, at a branch of Barclays Bank in Enfield, North London in 1967, which is good to remember, as it might come up in a pub quiz one day.
Instead of sending me my new camera lens, the company I had ordered it from sent me a pair of binoculars.
I sent them a vexed e-mail.

Monday 11 August 2008

old david bowie
stalked me from the tube entrance
to the present day

Isaac Hayes is dead. That’s rather a shame, especially as he wasted a lot of his time recently with that ridiculous scientology nonsense.
Nonetheless, he will be missed.

Monday 2 June 2008

some days, as empty
as an isle of mann gay bar,
pass by without note.

My application form for the National Poetry Competition arrived today. I did some work on the laptop and chatted for a while with Big Gay Al, who now lives in San Diego. After telling him I was going to Spain for a wedding in August he suggested I should say to a waiter “Quiero chupar el pene negro grande!” which apparently means ‘Please may I sample some of your local chorizo’.
Bo Diddley and Yves St Laurent have both run up the curtain and joined the choir invisible which is a bit of a shame for their fans.
We’re getting a bit worried about Robert. He’s taken to picking up young men in parks and taking them home. I’ve no problem with people picking up young men in parks. It’s more or less one of the commandments of the Gay Bible, but it’s never wise to take them home unless you can be sure they’re not going to murder you or run off with the George Forman grill. The last one, since Robert doesn’t have a George Forman grill, took his bike instead.
Last Saturday he informed us that he’d found out where the young man in question lived, and had seen the bike chained up outside, so, armed with a pair of boltcutters, he set out in the dead of night, liberated the bike, and returned home.
Later, another young man turned up, with another bike that he’d stolen from someone else. He left the next day, and failed to take the bike with him, which left Robert in the strange position of being in the possession of two bikes, one of which he had stolen back from the person who stole it from him, and the other having been presumably stolen and left as a gift.
I suggested that he should take the second bike and chain it up outside the house where he stole his own bike back from.
This may have been a mistake, as it’s a suggestion he may well feel is worthy of following.