Tuesday 23 February 2010

Balaclava (n) A Welsh harpsichord

I have to say that although I normally avoid reality shows, I am unaccountably hooked by ‘Pineapple Studios’ which takes the cameras inside the famous dance studio to show us the lives of the shy and retiring folk who work there.
One could be forgiven for thinking one was watching a mockumentary along the lines of ‘That Peter Kay Thing’ or ‘This is Spinal Tap’ since some of the protagonists seem completely unaware of the yawning void between the image they have of themselves and hard reality.
On the good side we have Louie Spence, the ubercamp Creative Director who, I am sure, will never return to TV obscurity. Like Julian and Sandy reborn in one muscle-bound volume, Louie is a lisping high-energy witmeister who can turn his hand to anything from having to ‘clean up poo. Someone missed the ¬toilet twice the other day and did it on the doorstep. I Am Not Lying’ to backflipping around the dancefloor to show a crowd of wannabee teenagers how it’s done. I love him.
On the dark side, someone really needs to have a word with Andrew Stone, the self-proclaimed ‘ready made pop star.’ He may have been ready made at some point, but things have gone off a bit since.
Andrew (‘Some people are IN showbusiness, some people ARE showbusiness. I AM showbusiness!’) is the lead singer of the (unsigned) band ‘Starman’, whose members and manager seem to think it is still the Nineteen Eighties. Like most people who want to BE showbusiness, Andrew and his band have worked very hard on their image and have done a professional photoshoot (during which Andrew got very concerned and lip-trembly about being upstaged by a lady in a loud frock, and Jesus the guitarist threw a hissy fit when someone got chocolate on his nice shirt), but so far don’t seem to have actually produced any music. Having said that, if you ARE showbusiness, that’s not really necessary, I suppose.