A month has passed by as quick and unnoticed as a Peter Andre single release.
I have been busy not only working in the secret government bunker where I have been unaccountably promoted to a position where I now have the power to threaten individual teams with withdrawal of stationery privileges, but also on my epic painting ‘Brad Pitt Helped Jail My Evil Dad’ which is destined to become the 21st Century’s ‘Guernica’.
For those of you unaware of what Guernica may be, it is the facial disease from which Victoria Beckham suffered for many years, and the name of the tribute quilt which Tracy Emin stitched together from sections of anoraks stolen from tramps, and is thought by many to be the single most significant piece of artwork of the Twentieth Century.
The Ugly One and I have also spent an inordinate amount of time watching ‘The Wire’, the shamefully underrated series from the States.
Also... The Apprentice is back. Hoorah! Sir Sid James has fired half of the eejits already, so there’s not a lot I can say about them. This week the teams had to re-brand Margate (rather than re-branding Margaret, one of Sir Sid’s fearsome assistants, which would have been a challenge too far, I suspect) and one team decided to target the Gay market.
Their research seemed to consist of interviewing one pre-op transsexual that Mona found in a bar. ‘I did work on this project,’ she bleated later in the boardroom. ‘I even went out and spoke to a gay person!’ as if this was some kind of personal milestone, despite the fact that she has been living in a house with Howard for the last six weeks.
Sir Sid pointed his fat scary finger and Mona was fired, mainly because she didn’t think there were any gay people in Kent, let alone the house she was living in. She has now moved to Brighton so that she’ll never have to face gay people again.
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The Journal of The Rational Party. Membership, 3
The Counter
Followers
THE RATIONAL PARTY MANIFESTO
1. To promote rational, logical thought in all areas of life and discourage policies, laws and decisions based on irrational beliefs.
2. To actively discourage the presentation of unproven myths as fact.
3. To actively pursue the unbiased scientific and historical investigation of such mythology.
4. To ban the Canadian songstress Celine Dion and her work from any juke-box, radio station, record-shop, pub, club or performance venue in the UK. (I suspect that some future members of the Party may have a problem with this but as the Founder Member and figurehead I feel I should have the right to have one clause in the manifesto just for me. Should we ever come to power, I intend to make it law.)
5. To actively promote scientific investigation in all areas, and scientific ethics based on logic and compassion.
6. To establish a system of morality based on a god-free philosophy, by which I mean that children should be taught respect for others and the basics of good behaviour without recourse to threats of damnation, hellfire and God’s rejection.
7. To establish an education system where religion only plays a part in that there is an ongoing debate and investigation within the curriculum into the existence of God. God’s existence will not be presented as fact, since it patently is a theory which has not been proven and for which there is only a small amount of dubious evidence.
2. To actively discourage the presentation of unproven myths as fact.
3. To actively pursue the unbiased scientific and historical investigation of such mythology.
4. To ban the Canadian songstress Celine Dion and her work from any juke-box, radio station, record-shop, pub, club or performance venue in the UK. (I suspect that some future members of the Party may have a problem with this but as the Founder Member and figurehead I feel I should have the right to have one clause in the manifesto just for me. Should we ever come to power, I intend to make it law.)
5. To actively promote scientific investigation in all areas, and scientific ethics based on logic and compassion.
6. To establish a system of morality based on a god-free philosophy, by which I mean that children should be taught respect for others and the basics of good behaviour without recourse to threats of damnation, hellfire and God’s rejection.
7. To establish an education system where religion only plays a part in that there is an ongoing debate and investigation within the curriculum into the existence of God. God’s existence will not be presented as fact, since it patently is a theory which has not been proven and for which there is only a small amount of dubious evidence.
About Me
- Rod
- United Kingdom
- Grumpy Illustrator and poet, still attempting to finish writing a novel. Lives with his husband amidst a plethora, yes, a plethora, of books, films and music.
2 comments:
That's a relief - I thought I'd caused some catastrophic attack of reticence by linking to you.
(Funny...that April 17 post wasn't there yesterday...hmmm.....)
You should have called while you were 'home' last month - your mother knows where to find me. Gardening, usually...
Nigel
www.thejudge.me.uk
Thank you. I will next time.
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