Saturday 2 August 2008

Zezi Ifore, of whom it has been said ‘Everyone has a right to be ugly, but some people just abuse the privilege’ is, I think, the new Jeremy Spake.
Some people may remember Jeremy, who had a decent enough job as an Airport employee, speaking Russian to Soviet visitors on ‘Airline’. Following his popularity as the subject of a documentary series he tried his hand as a TV presenter, following which his popularity plummeted like a Lockerby suitcase.
He was then seen desperately advertising fridges in the slots between June Whitfield demonstrating stairlifts and fat people trying to get one to sign up with Ocean Finance. Jeremy was last heard of presenting ‘The Good Old Days’ in Maidstone.
Now that The Gormless Shoe Tree has been banished to the equivalent of the BBLB attic, one can only hope that we’ll next see her whizzing about on a forklift, shouting out the price of a Zanussi.
I do feel sorry for Maidstone, but as the last step on the road to obscurity, the good people of Maidstone must take heart from the fact that they are playing an important role. Please go and see Zezi in whatever end-of-the-pier slot they have planned. We must ensure she’s sent off to anonymity with a warm hand on her exit.
Once our Tesco delivery had arrived today we went off to see ‘The Dark Knight’ which was excellent, if a little extended. Heath Ledger was superb as a Joker who seemed truly disturbed and schizophrenic. I know this because I see a lot of Jokers outside the Pound Shop on Brixton Road.