Monday 8 December 2008

I awoke, feeling very ill, and with my stomach punching me from within and complaining at its treatment of late. I poured myself into the bathroom, did the necessary, poured out again and poured myself a restorative coffee.
‘Days of Our Lives’ usually eases me into the gruesome day, so I settled down to concentrate on the lives of the good folk of Salem.
A hitman, it appears, has been hired to kill old neckless Victor, and Bo Brady and newly graduated supercop Billy Reed have been detailed to go undercover to the Salem Inn where the hit is due to take place. ‘Undercover’ is a vague term in the Salem police department since Bo’s attempt at disguise consisted of combing his hair down over his forehead into daggerlike points.
The hit man appeared, at exactly the same time as Sammy Brady and Nicole, who chose that moment to have a catfight in front of Victor, with the result that Nicole has been shot and is in a coma. This is not a cause for alarm, since Salem is the coma capital of North America. There’s been at least three comas in the last six months, as well as Tony Dimera’s mini-comas which hit him at least three times a week, leaving him standing up and staring into space.
Meanwhile John Black has been busy standing around showing a mysterious blue key to his own independently mobile eyebrows. His wife, Dr Marlena, has been having premonitions about, well, not very much really, but she’s looking twice as concerned as usual.
It’s a wonder she ever has time to see any patients as whenever a relative or friend calls in to see her, she is sitting at her desk writing notes.
On the way home from work I sat opposite Robbie’s dad from ‘Eastenders’. I suspect this would not be a celebrity omen as no one seems to know who he is.