Monday 30 April 2007

grim as a brick bap
diedre barlow folds arms,
and says ‘ken, ken, ken!’

I am not sure what Coronation Street are doing with Diedre and Ken. Tonight Ken, being the desperate elderly trendy that he is (trenderly?) tried to cheer up poor Diedre with broccoli from the Farmer’s Market. Diedre, unimpressed with his talk of local produce and food miles, threw on her cardy and flounced out, leaving her broccoli unconsumed.
Diedre, of course, is still reeling from the shock of finding out that her daughter Tracy is a cold-blooded murderess, who revelled in banging her lover Charlie over the head with a TK Maxx Art Deco ornament. Ken is trying to be sensible and look on the bright side. If Diedre could only see it there is a bright side. Tracy was one of the worst actresses ever to grace the hallowed cobbles of Corry, and having her banged up for a minimum of fifteen years should be grounds for the residents to have a street party; tables creaking with sausage and egg barms, trays flowing with halves of bitter and a barbecue doing pikelets and toasted teacakes.Should Tracy ever return it will most likely be with a new head (Her half-brother Peter Barlow has allegedly had at least eleven heads in the past. One was Scottish and ginger) so what cause is there to greet so, Diedre? Put that fag out and have a stout.