Saturday, 1 August 2009

Friday 31 July 2009

We seem to have bred a new race of professional reality show stars. Noirin, who was – at least until this week - unaccountably popular in Big Brother this year, and seems to have broken the hearts of several men and a Russian woman, was originally in another reality series in the US where she met Isaac. Isaac, no doubt to cause mischief and mayhem, was put into the BB house last night, or maybe the night before and has been hiding in the shrubbery, feeding on squirrels. He looks like he could eat squirrels alive. Isaac kept reminding me of someone in that annoying way that people do and I have just realised that it is the talking zombie from ‘Dawn of The Dead’. He has an overflattened skull that makes me worry where to slot him in one of those ‘Ascent of Man’ illustrations which shows the progression from ape to Homo Sapiens.
Anyway, Homo Isaactus entered the house and immediately took possession of Noirin (isn’t that the name of a brand of lard?), much to the dismay of Siavash, (aka ‘the Persian Jesus’, or ‘Said from Lost’). I’m not sure how people can simply migrate from one reality show to another. Surely, logic would dictate that once you’ve appeared on one reality show, you are no longer ‘real’ in the sense that I would understand it. ‘Real’ people are people who haven’t appeared on TV; televisual virgins who work as viewing interest because of the very fact that they are not professional or experienced tv performers. Once one has become accustomed to making an arse of yourself in front of millions of people, doesn’t that qualify one to be raised to the level of public nuisance, like Jordan and Peter Andre? There really should be some sort of law preventing the continuance of such abominations.

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