Sunday, 8 April 2007

Saturday 7 April 2007

crowds for the boat race
excited, at hammersmith,
ask ‘where’s the river?’

I don’t like waking up late on a Saturday, one reason being that I like to get to the TV first and put the Radio 3 CD review show on. If the UO gets up first it’s fairly certain I’ll have to suffer CSI from ten till twelve on the Hallmark Channel.
I got my radio and coffee time. However, at twelve we watched some Judge Judy, a show which confirms many of my opinions about Americans. Most of my opinions contain the word ‘stupid’ somewhere.
A woman was suing a man who runs a children’s entertainment business. He was booked to appear as a clown at a one-year old baby’s birthday party. The clown was ill, but managed to provide a last minute replacement who was a magician. There was nothing wrong with the magician except for the fact he wasn’t a clown.
The mother was suing because her child’s party was ruined and she was caused emotional distress.
Judge Judy (a woman doomed to suffer eternal queues of the stupid lining up before her) was suitably scathing.
‘Your child is one year old, madam! He don’t know if it’s a clown or a magician!’
I wish Judge Judy had the power to request her court officer Burt to give people a slap. I'd pay to see that.

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