Wednesday 7 May 2008

i have a new friend.
we are free with each other
without knowing names.

Being in a depressed sort of mood I popped into the Empire Fish Bar and picked up pie and chips. Suitably full, replete, and somewhat stuffed I settled down to watch this week’s Apprentice.
Once more Raef Bjayou’s hair has transformed, or possibly regenerated in the manner of Doctor Who.
A long light brown strand now stretches from the left side of his head down over his right brow, while above his left ear is a tangled spaghetti junction of hair strands, seemingly shooting off in multiple directions.
This week the teams were sent to Morocco to pick up a shopping list for Sir Sid James as cheaply as possible. The list contained ten bizarre and multifarious items such as a green mosque alarm clock, kosher chicken and a cow hide complete with tail.
Irish Jenny the ice-queen led one team while Lee (‘that’s what I’m talking about!’) led the other.
I suspect that most of the country is baffled, if not ashamed, that a group of five British people, one of whom claimed to be Jewish, did not know what the word ‘Kosher’ meant, and ended up buying Halal chicken and asking if it could be blessed by a priest.
Additionally, Jenny Jinger, the duplicitous Jimmy-Hill-chinned one, tried to bribe a sport shop into not selling tennis racquets to the opposing team.
Sir Sid James was not amused by such behaviour and when Her Evil Gingerness tried to blame everyone else for the kosher fiasco and the failure of her team, was quick to boot her out. This was not the end though. Michael, who claims to be a good Jewish boy, was grilled spectacularly by Sir Sid, but spared when he turned his glare on the ice-queen and said the dread two words.