Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Monday 28 April 2008

i can’t remember
what the dream was that woke me
apart from rail tracks

Questions Fundamentalist Christians should ask themselves. No 2

If God created Neanderthal Man, was this before or after Adam and Eve came out of Eden? Did the Neanderthals have their own Eden? Did they get conned by the serpent/apple trick as well? If so, you’d think God would have put up some fencing or something. A bit of chicken wire round the perimeter of the Tree of Knowledge would have saved us all a lot of bother.

My favourite TV ad right now is the one for Lloyd Grossman’s sauces, where various people do impressions of Lloyd Grossman. It’s not an easy thing to do since Lloyd’s accent is a peculiar and unique one. One suspects that Lloyd grew up in a part of America where no one else lives, and thus cornered an accent all to himself.
The range of TV ads is somewhat disappointing right now, with very few new and inspiring ones about. The Halifax ads make me want to protest outside their head office by chaining myself to the railings and singing abusive songs based on the melody of a popular hit, as the terminally annoying Howard (who first appeared on screen some years ago with his trademark bottle-bottom glasses) is still making ads for them, despite the fact that I can find no one, I repeat no one, who has a good word to say about the man.
The idea of finding actual managers from Halifax branches to appear in the ads singing Halifax-based versions of popular songs might have been a good one at the time (some time in the last century I imagine), but surely by now they could have come up with at least one more idea.

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