Saturday 19 April 2008

another mad man
insisted that he knew me,
asked for ninety pee.

I had to work today. Actually i do not mind working on Saturdays as the phone does not ring, I do not get government agents asking me for gun requisition forms and it is generally quiet enough for me to catch up with the paperwork without undue interference.
On the way in, however, I was accosted by another mad person.
‘Hello mate,’ said a man I had never seen before. ‘I haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘Who are you?’
‘It’s me, Kelvin! You must remember your old mate Kelvin!’
‘I don’t have an old mate Kelvin, and if I do, you’re not him.’
‘You do mate... It’s me, Kelvin!’
‘Look! What do you want?’
There was a pause.
‘Ninety pence.’
‘I haven’t got it.’
‘Can I have a cigarette then?’
‘No. Now F*** off!’
I’m not usually so rude, but I don’t see why people can’t just ask politely instead of inventing a fictional world for me to live in on the off chance I might just believe it and hand over money.
Later I was vexed by the fact that ITV have chosen to cancel the second episode of the wonderful ‘Pushing Daisies’. The reason for this is that if they complete the run of nine episodes, the final episode will be scheduled for the same night as the football.
Very poor, ITV! I am pretty sure that amongst the next eight weeks of the usual crap you schedule there must be space where you could fit in an extra episode. Alternatively, just show the football after the final episode. I don’t see where the problem lies.